I was reading — listening to the podcast of — this New Yorker article — "A New Leaf/Seaweed could be a miracle food—if we can figure out how to make it taste good" — as I was walking into the kitchen this morning, reencountering my exotic, invasive husband Meade.
ME: "What do you know about kelp?"
MEADE: "Does any Bob Dylan song have the word 'kelp'?"
ME: "Does any Jerry Lewis movie have him named 'Kelp'?"
Meade says he doesn't follow Jerry Lewis, but I don't think you need to follow Jerry Lewis to know this one. "Professor Kelp?" I say, stalling for time, because I don't know the answer to the Bob Dylan question. I say that "kelp" is good if you need a rhyme for "help," and then, doing my search at bobdylan.com, I see I'm right. It's "Sara":
Now the beach is deserted except for some kelpJerry played Professor Julius Kelp in more movies than just "The Nutty Professor." Here's a compilation:
And a piece of an old ship that lies on the shore
You always responded when I needed your help
You gimme a map and a key to your door
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