The GOP debate... watch it with me.

1. The "undercard" debate has started. Chris Christie is emitting empathy for the economically downtrodden.

2. Jindal seems to contain an inner robot. Watch this. I've watched it 10 times and cracked up every time:



3. The main debate is about to begin. My son John is live-blogging here.

4. Lou Dobbs is babbling. He says we've been "waiting a very long time" for this. What? A couple weeks?

5. "We need more welders and less philosophers." — Marco Rubio.

6. "I've done it twice. I'll do it thrice." — Kasich.

7. Oh! Sorry. I fell asleep. Is anyone watching?

8. "Paint in bold colors, not pale pastels." — Ted Cruz.

9. "In the 2 hours of this debate, 5 people have died..." of boredom? (Ben Carson.)

10. "It was a very riveting debate," claims Neil Cavuto, ludicrously.